Last night I went to bed with today's to-do list looming. Both kids would be in school and I should have been able to get a ton done. I suppose I did get a lot done, but not nearly enough. One of my first stops of the day was at Target. Oh, Target. What a love/hate affair. I love it because, well, who doesn't? I hate it because I always spend too much. It's very cliche. Today I hated it for a different reason though. On my shopping list were the normal things -- toiletries and such -- but there was also something that I've been dreading and putting off for a while now. Bras. I really needed to buy some bras that weren't sports bras, which is what I've been wearing since my mastectomy. I've been cleared to where whatever kind of bra I want now that my incisions are healed. Sure, it would be logical to go to a better store where someone could measure me and tell me what size I need and all that, but I'm nowhere near being able to go there. The thought of having to explain to the salesperson the mess that she was about to see...I just can't do that right now. So, Target it is. I was literally shaking and almost in tears in that stupid bra section today. I wanted to throw all of those pretty lace bras in a pile and have a big bonfire right there. My body is not shaped like that anymore. I can't imagine wearing anything that has any shape (or appeal, for that matter) to it. I settled for some lame, non-structured things that are basically just one step away from a sports bra. I guess that's a start.
The dumb bra thing really impacted my entire day. I zombied through the rest of my errands and checked things off my list, but I didn't get the important things done. I wasn't very patient with my family. I couldn't concentrate enough to get my writing finished. And now I feel like I have to vomit out all this stuff about bra shopping before I can continue my night. But do you know what? This week a friend is facing the recurrence of her cancer. I think I can face some annoying bra shopping.